Communion – the most terrifying sacrament in the IFB church

Every 2-3 months or so, in the Baptist church that I went to, we had a communion service (or Lord’s Supper). Weeks before the communion service, we were warned sternly by the pastor that we needed to prepare for the service by examining our hearts and making sure that we have asked forgiveness for every single sin we had committed.  We were reminded of this need over and over again before the day even arrived. We were told that we needed to confess unresolved sins and make sure that we were “guiltless” so that we would not be partaking unworthily when the time came.

The pastor would stress again very strongly for about 30 minutes before offering the bread and “wine” (grape juice) the urgent need to have all our sins confessed, so that we could be pure for partaking. The reasoning given for this was 1 Corinthians 11:26-32:

Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.

I was reminded that if I partook and there were unforgiven sins in my life, then I might get sick and even die. Many times  I wanted to skip this service, because, to be quite honest… it was a scary (even terrifying) event for me. I knew that I was not perfect, and that there may be sins in my life that I had forgotten to ask forgiveness for. What if I had forgotten even one? Would I fall over dead?

So many times, after praying intensely and trying to remember all the sins I had committed in the last few months (how can one possibly remember them all?), and begging God to forgive me of the sins I had not thought of…when that plate was passed in front of me, I would often simply reject it out of fear.

Then, I would avoid eye contact with others, knowing that they were watching me and judging me,  wondering what sins I had been committing that week and why I did not partake.

If this sounds familiar to you, please know- you don’t have to fear participating in communion if you are trusting Christ for Salvation.

Here’s the first thing I had to acknowledge in order to stop these feelings of guilt during communion services:

There is no such thing as partaking unworthily!   I AM UNWORTHY…and so is everyone else, even those who happened to remember every sin they need to confess before partaking.

Saying a fearful prayer doesn’t take away my unworthiness! It doesn’t make me any more worthy than I was two minutes before praying.

So then, how do I explain the Bible saying, “Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord“? See, this is where being prohibited from reading any other translation but the KJV (King James Onlyism) can cause confusion. The Bible never actually says that we have to be “worthy” to partake in communion. It never even implies it. The archaic language, coupled with taking the passage out of it’s intended context is the cause of much confusion.

Here is the verse, in the ESV:

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord.

In the NASB:

Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord.

In the ASV:

Wherefore whosoever shall eat the bread or drink the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord.

You can compare more versions at Biblehub.com.

Do you see the difference there? The Bible says whoever eats the bread of drinks the cup in an unworthy MANNER will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. Not the one who is UNWORTHY to partake. That is a huge difference!

If you are a KJV only believer and think that the other versions I have used cannot be relied on in this instance, here is evidence from blueletterbible.com that the translation I am using is accurate. The word “unworthily” in the King James version is translated from the greek word “ἀναξίως”, which really does mean “in an unworthy manner“.

Okay, so what does it mean to partake in an unworthy manner?

If we look at the context of the passage, it explains itself. Here it is:

The Lord’s Supper

But in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse.  For, in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And I believe it in part, for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized. When you come together, it is not the Lord’s supper that you eat.  For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal. One goes hungry, another gets drunk.  What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I commend you in this? No, I will not.

 For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.”  For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup.  For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged.  But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world.

So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another— if anyone is hungry, let him eat at home—so that when you come together it will not be for judgment. About the other things I will give directions when I come.

The Corinthians were being chastised for coming together to partake of the Lords Supper, and instead of reverently remembering Christ’s sacrifice, they were making a mockery of it by eating it to satisfy their physical hunger. They were even getting drunk with the wine! And they were letting others go hungry after they had had their fill. This is what is meant by  partaking in an unworthy (or disrespectful) manner.

I hope that if you have been afraid to partake in communion because of the grossly misused passages in the Bible, that this will help set your fears at ease.

We partake of communion, NOT in an arrogant attempt to be worthy of Christ’s sacrifice…but we partake by humbly acknowledging our unworthiness, and we are thankful and JOYFUL while partaking, praising Christ and remembering his sacrifice on the cross for us, in which we obtained an inheritance in Heaven.  Christ alone is WORTHY!

Demons in my bedroom

When I was about 12 years old, I remember laying under the covers in my bedroom one night. I was feeling scared because I heard something that sounded like footsteps right outside my bedroom. I kept hearing a soft “thump”…”thump”…”thump”.

In my mind, I just knew there was a masked robber in the hallway about to come into my room and hurt me. As the thumping got louder (or so I imagined), my heart began racing wildly. I tried to remain as quiet as possible, and the thumping continued. I finally yelled in desperation, “Mommy!!” My mother came running into the bedroom and asked what was the matter. I told her about the thumping sounds I had been hearing, and asked her what they might be. I hoped to hear that there was some less scary explanation for the sound.

My mother looked at me with a calm expression and ran her fingers through my hair. She sighed and said, “It’s okay, honey. It’s probably just demons.” JUST demons? Here I was, terrified of a physical person entering my room. At least in that scenario, I have a chance; but a supernatural being that is invisible? I definitely don’t stand a chance! I was horrified beyond belief.

Then, my mother offered me the solution to the problem. “Here, play these gospel hymns tonight on your tape player, and it will chase those demons away!”  I was thrilled to know that there was a way to get rid of the demons, so I eagerly played the music, snuggled under the covers and tried to go to sleep. As soon as my mom was out of sight, however, I realized that I could still hear the “thump”…”thump”…”thump”.  Why was it still there?

The fear I had felt before was intensified so strongly that (I am sure you can imagine) I got NO sleep that night. The next morning, when I was able to get the courage to get out of bed, I went into the hallway and noticed I still heard the thumping.  It didn’t seem as scary in the daytime, so I went closer to the source of the noise. The noise led me to our air conditioner which was at the end of the hall.  It was the air conditioner that was making the thumping noise. I had solved the mystery…but the damage done to my mind in the room the night before had already been done.

I have no doubt that my mother meant well that night and really believed that what she was doing was trying to help quell my fears and provide a solution. The presence of demons in everything from television sets to cabbage patch dolls is quite a big deal in IFB churches, and there is much preaching about them there. But as a mother, I just can’t fathom saying anything even similar to my children, even if it were true.

Just for the record, I do believe in the existence of demons. I just do not believe that Christians should live in fear of them -nor do I think that the first conclusion that we jump to when something weird is happening is that it is a demon. 

 

Fear of the Lord is Beginning of Wisdom?

Should Christians be fearful of God’s wrath and judgment? If you attend an Independent Fundamental Baptist church, you might feel this is the case.   People in many IFB churches are encouraged to be a “God fearing people”, not in the sense that we should have a healthy fear/respect for God – but that we should literally be afraid of making God angry with us.

In the churches I attended growing up, the idea that we should be always fearful and trembling before God was preached continually, and it wasn’t just taught to unbelievers…it was also taught to believers, who are no longer under condemnation.

They support this idea with scriptures such as Hebrews 10:31, which says:

It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

and 1 Timothy 5:20:

….them that sin rebuke before all that others also may fear.

And Proverbs 9:10:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Now, let me clarify what I am saying before I’m accused of denying what the Bible says.  I am NOT saying that God doesn’t need to be feared by those who are unrepentant or deny Him. God IS to be feared, within the right context.

The verse in Hebrews is taken wrongfully out of context, and when you read the whole chapter, you can see this statement is referring specifically to “the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God” and “profaned the blood of the covenant” (basically, an apostate).

The verse in 1 Timothy is part of a set of leadership guidelines for Timothy in the church of Ephesus. The part that says “them that sin rebuke before all that others may also fear” (if you take a look at the context) is clearly saying to rebuke elders before everyone so that it can be a warning to the rest. It’s not even referring to the fear of God. It’s referring to the fear of being reprimanded publicly.

The verse in Proverbs about the “fear of the Lord” being the beginning of wisdom, is speaking of having a sense of reverence. 3374  (yirah) in my strongs concordances affirms this:

This idea of being fearful of an angry God caused me so much terror as a child.  I was taught in our services that I might have done something to offend God and make Him want to punish me by taking away someone I love, or causing me to be sick or even die.

I remember always feeling like God was this big monster in the sky who wanted to get me, to hurt me, although I would have been too afraid to admit that is what I thought (if anyone asked me, I would have definitely said God was loving). I felt like he was watching and waiting for me to mess up, just so he could condemn me or abandon me. And in order for me to have wisdom, I HAD to fear him. So I did. I found it impossible to feel close to him. He felt so far away and unapproachable.

But I also remember being confused (knowing that God won’t contradict himself) when I read other verses that seemed to conflict with this idea.

For example, take a look at this verse:

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

How can we have confidence approaching God directly if we are fearful of His wrath toward us? Does that really make sense?

Or this one:

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

If we did NOT receive a spirit to fall back into fear, why would Proverbs 9:10 be telling us to be fearful of God?

Healthy fear of God is REVERENCE toward Him. Passages that speak of the “fear of the Lord” are using the word “fear” which refers to “reverence”.

Here are some synonyms of the words “reverence” and “fear”, to give an idea of how vastly different they are in meaning:

Reverence: admiration, adoration, esteem, loyalty, piety, respect, veneration, apotheosis, approbation, approval, bow, deification, devoutness, high esteem, praise, honor, love, worship.

Fear: angst, anxiety, concern, despair, dismay, doubt, dread, horror, jitter, panic, scare, suspicion, terror, unease, worry, abhorrence, agitation, aversion, consternation, cowardice, foreboding, misgivings, fright, faintheartedness.

There is a significant contrast in the connotations of both words.

Let’s go through a couple of passages in the Bible that refer to “fear of the Lord”, and see whether the context indicates that the person fearing the Lord feels a sense of dread in God’s presence.

Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.
5Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.
6This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles.
7The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.

What I see in this passage so far is that God DELIVERS those who fear him. Should we feel afraid of those who deliver us from trouble?

8 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

A person who fears God is BLESSED and can see that God is good.

9 Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!
10 The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

“Seeking” God seems to be parallel to “fearing” him. Those who seek him/fear Him lack no good thing.

11Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 12What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? 13Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. 14Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

What is the motivator here? Does it say he who wants to avoid being condemned should keep their tongue from evil and lips from speaking deceit? No, he encourages us with a positive message of long life and seeing much good.

15 The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry.
16 The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
17 When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.
18The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
19Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. 20He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.
21Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. 22The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

If we have taken refuge in God, we have no need to be worried about being condemned (Romans 8:1). From what I can tell in this passage, fearing him is the same as taking refuge in him. And you don’t take refuge in someone you’re afraid of.

Here is a second example in Proverbs 14:

26 In the fear of the LORD one has strong confidence,

Fearing God gives you CONFIDENCE. Does this make sense if fear is the same as dread?

and his children will have a refuge.

The children of those who fear God have refuge – a place of safety from harm.

Here are some other verses to consider:

Acts 9:31So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria had peace and was being built up. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it multiplied.

So the church in Acts was walking in the “fear of the Lord”, and they also had:

1. Peace
2. Building up
3. Comfort of the Holy Spirit

I don’t think this verse would make much sense if “fear of the Lord ” meant being afraid of God’s judgment. These are people who had been freed from bondage and felt God’s mercy and peace.

“Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love” (1 John 4:17-18).

This was the verse that really made me take pause and reconsider my perception of God years ago. I feared God because I did not understand His love. My fear brought torment, just as the verse said. I slowly began to realize that I was only serving a caricature of God, and did not truly understand His grace, or my position in his family as an adopted child of God.

Finally, what does the Bible say is fearing the Lord?  Proverbs 8:13:

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil.

Feel free to let me know your thoughts, to add to this, or to correct me where you feel I’m in error!

Is IFB a cult?

It took me 11 years after leaving the Independent Baptist Church before I could acknowledge to myself that I had indeed been in a cult. Before then, I thought maybe I just had a few disagreements, but I assumed they couldn’t be a cult because their statement of faith generally seems to be representing the core doctrines of Christianity.  I’ll talk more about that at a later time.

During those 11 years, I studied and researched many different religions. I debated with people from various cults, such as Mormonism and Jehovah’s Witnesses (and MANY more).  I welcomed them into my home and we would discuss their beliefs and what the bible said. A little at a time, I realized in speaking with people who had left these cults is that the structure of their churches was strikingly similar to mine:

*The leader/s of the church is/are controlling and manipulative.
*They don’t allow for other versions of the Bible except the ones they deem fit.
*They don’t allow their members to read other literature except what is approved by their organization (this is usually an UNSPOKEN rule).
*They emphasize spreading of their teachings door to door.
*Their services are mundane and certain styles of music (such as contemporary Christian) are deemed “satanic”.
*They outwardly preach one thing, but live another. For example- preaching grace, but living works.
*They strongly discourage association with anyone who is not involved in the church, for fear of being led astray by satan.
*They discourage association with churches who do not agree with all of their teachings.
*Many of their leaders are involved in sexual abuse and have been convicted of sexual crimes- and these leaders are NOT condemned/chastised by the church.
*Their churches are loyal to the pastor/leader, and do not question him.
*If you leave the church, you can possibly expect shunning to occur.

I could go on and on, but over time, I began to see similarity after similarity until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

I wondered for a long time why I had such a fascination with cults. It turns out that the reason I was so obsessed with learning about them, was that I had been in one myself.

Learning about their religions and attempting to show them where their leaders were lying to them actually forced me to dive into the scripture and I was able to find answers for them that actually ended up being very relevant for myself. I learned how many things I had believed about the scripture that had actually been twisted and misrepresented horribly.

It was through this research that I found out who Christ really is, and not who I was taught he was my whole life.  That is not to say that our church didn’t teach some correct things; they did! But they mixed truth with error, because truth mixed with error is more easy to swallow than error by itself.

An Open Letter to Former IFB’s- must read

I found this open letter on a blog today and thought it was absolutely wonderful.  Please click the link to read the whole thing, and I encourage you to read T. Welch’s blog. It is full of grace, hope. If you’ve gotten out of the IFB, you will find no judgement at this blog.

….To all those who grew up in an IFB church: I love you. God loves you. Jesus loves you. Unlike what you have been told God is not a hateful, spiteful old man looking to attack you rather He is a Heavenly Father who loves you. He is a Father to the fatherless, hope to the hopeless, joy to the joyless, and peace to the restless. He is a Father who desires to lavish His love upon you. He is a Father who desires you to come home and will welcome you with open arms. He wants to increase your joy and pleasure both in this life and in the next. His burden is weak and His yoke is light. It’s all about grace with Him. God loves you so much. He wants you to feel it. He cares for you. All He gives you is grace. All that He gives His children is matchless, endless, infinite, marvelous grace. He didn’t save you so He could continue to beat you up and make you hang your head in disgrace. He wants you to experience freedom, joy and a life basking in His grace.

You are a strong person for walking away from the cult which is an IFB church and I applaud you for your strength. I applaud you for thinking for yourself and for seeing through all of the lies, false teachings, fear mongering and bullying. I applaud you for walking away. I understand why you are angry, believe me I do and I realize it will take a long time and you may never “get over” what you have been through. I want to emphasize with you and I want to feel your pain. I would love to hear more.

You must know that Jesus doesn’t just love you He also loves His church. The church is the bride of Christ. Jesus loves the church so much that He died for His church. His church is the hope for the world and His church is how He is establishing His Kingdom on this Earth. He desires you to be a part of a church. I know you have been burnt by churches in the past; however, there are good, Gospel teaching, grace abounding, warm-hearted and welcoming churches. Jesus desires you to be a part of a church for your good. He did not make us to be out on our own. He made us for community and companionship all of which you will find in a church. The church is not perfect; however, a good church knows they’re not perfect and admits their imperfections falling at the feet of Jesus. I encourage you to find a church like that; a Gospel teaching, grace abounding, warm-hearted and welcoming church. A church which admits their imperfections, preaches the Word, administers the sacraments (baptism and Lords Supper) and has a heart for people; there you will find a true church….

T Welch, thank you so much for that letter, and for your ministry to help encourage and strengthen others who have been spiritually abused in an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church.

My IFB background summarized

The purpose of this blog will be to expose the cultish behavior and teachings of many (if not all) Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches.  It took me years to come to become aware of the fact that I had been living in bondage due to the teachings of the IFB church.  I am finally free to serve Christ out of love and not fear, by God’s grace.

To give a little background, my mother was a Mormon growing up, and eventually was turned away from it. I do not know much about her involvement in the Mormon church. The new church she decided to attend (while I was still too young to remember) was an Independent Fundamental Baptist church, and that is what I grew up in and stuck with until my mid 20’s.  So basically, it was all I ever really knew.

I will quickly summarize my entire childhood below. I was:

*continually tormented by thoughts of being left behind by God in the rapture
*worried about choosing between the mark of the beast and being beheaded
*gripped by fear of  not having enough faith to “really” be saved
*praying every single night for years that God would save me and not let me go to hell…
*scared of cabbage patch dolls and smurfs (possessed)
*fearful of crows, hawks, and ravens (they’ll pluck your eyes out if you don’t respect your parents)
*afraid that I was not “winning enough souls”
*afraid that demons were in my bedroom at night
*perplexed by the number “666”
*afraid to read any other translation than the King James Version (all other versions were from Satan)
*afraid to go to any church that wasn’t an Independent premillennial, King James Only, fundamental Baptist church
*afraid to make the pastor upset by disagreeing with his version of the Bible on ANYTHING
The basic reality of my childhood was FEAR, not the peace that I have in Christ today.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” 1 John 4:18